UFOLOSOPHY  3

A greedy man is often dumb, or looks dumb,

which is almost the same thing.

Wobbler (Hyllerö)

 There are many kinds of ufos. In this writing, ufos are those whose worlds orcs and reptilianscannot enter. Can Satan? Well, that’s a good question. I certainly hope not.

 I don’t particularly distinguish between ufos - except now for Wobbler. He is a very powerful mega-ufo, a mega-entity. Always cheerful old man. Resembles the BBC character Mr Blobby. He's turquoise and somewhat bulky. About five meters tall, but he can also appear human-sized. Wobbler likes to dress in armor somewhat like the Marvel character Galactus, except Wobbler’s armor is gold and silver.

 I don’t know his real name. He got the nickname Hyllerö because he repeatedly blocked my Veikkaus (Finnish national betting company) winnings. Some unknown entity put his face on Veikkaus’ “Hyllerö” digital lottery game. There, he watches over to make sure I don’t win anything. Wobbler is an English derivative of ”Hyllerö”. 

 Hyllerö and Mr Blobby are not identical. Reality is that Wobbler is somewhere in between those two characters. Funny thing is that I'm 90% sure it was Mr Blobber, not Mr Blobby. Am I the only one?

Wobbler's Commodity

 I’m not saying Wobbler is evil, but he is very difficult. He has taken a big role in this project I call my life. And he doesn’t like me. Once Wobbler told me this is somewhat unfair to me, but on whole, I serve better this way. Instead of “doing things.”

 “Let others do now, and you do some other time,” he said, even though he knows there won’t be another time for me.

 Once Wobbler told me through demons that he hadn’t had anyone like me for a long time. And it can’t be wasted. That day demons had been harassing me all day, and it was quite a nightmare, continuing through the night and to the following day. That was when I learned to fear Wobbler. He can be really nasty.

 Maybe Wobbler takes care of his favorites among humans. And I am his tool to help those people. Someone has to suffer so these people can rejoice and succeed. But why can't Wobbler take that benefit out of himself if it’s so important to him?

 For a while, that’s bearable. Compared to other lays, my life is quite tolerable. But in the long run, the awareness of being just a commodity is frustrating. And once you get used to something, it no longer bothers you, so Wobbler has to crank things up by other means. Gradually your life worsens further as pleasant elements are removed and replaced with nasty ones. Nothing can succeed, and your mind is constantly gnawed by gloom.

 I can’t avoid the thought that Hyllerö and his companions harvest the energy of my suffering for their own pleasure. That maybe they are hooked on the euphoria they get from tormenting me. It’s also hard to dismiss the idea that they simply hate me. Or maybe hate is foreign to a mega-ufo like Wobbler. He wouldn’t waste time on hating anyone. He just simply doesn’t care about others except himself and his own thoughts. Everything can always be justified from an educational perspective. Is the famous Vaganova Ballet Academy in Russia known for gentle methods?

 Then there is the possibility that Wobbler is a satanist. Or maybe Satan is simply using him as a tool.

Wobbler With Guitar

 Around 2013, Wobbler and some other ufo appeared to me in a dream. They had surely seen that the next year I would quit playing guitar and the following year stop drinking. Wobbler said he could take my place if I wanted to stop living as a human.

 “Don’t quit playing, and don’t sell your instruments. I’m interested in guitar playing,” he said.

 Smiling, he went on, wondering how he might fare in my skin.

 I got jealous of my own life. I didn’t want to give it to Wobbler or anyone. I forbade him from stealing my life.

 Wobbler knows exactly which strings to pull. He also knew the guitar was a very important element in my torment. All the sabotage and jinxing related to playing guitar produced a significant but easy benefit for human satanists. Surely for Wobbler too. He had ensured he would get an ample cut of everything that had to do with me.

Committee

 A few years later, I found myself before a ufo committee in a dream. I would say they were mega-ufos. In a very minimalistic room were three tables. In the center sat a panel of three ufos. On the left side, a panel of two ufos. At the back, a bit higher up, sat one ufo at his own table. Standing in the front of the room was one who acted as the presenter. On the right, next to the largest table, stood Wobbler. He asked me questions.

 I was drunk. Why did I have to be heard right then? Wobbler's fingerprints were all over it. He asked what I wanted to do in life. I answered that I wanted to be like John Rambo - a lone commando. A melancholy, hardened loner who fights the whole world. I also said I wanted to be a secret agent or detective.

 One of the committee ufos said that being alone isn’t wise. People don’t like being alone. He was right. I just didn’t know how to take the committee seriously. Nor did I take the ufos seriously. They looked a bit strange to the human eye, like cartoon characters. Even though they were all roughly the same size as me. None of them was five meters tall this time.

 All the committee’s ufos took part in the discussion. I don’t remember what they said. At some point, I got fed up and started messing around, but the ufos kept their composure. Wobbler looked pleased. The committee ufos surely saw through the whole thing, but one of them got mad at me. I was probably rude in my comments about their appearance and other things. If I remember correctly, I even pulled one by the beard while dancing around the room, firing insults like a machine gun in all directions.

 Many ufos hold the principle that one should not enter another’s mind. Others are judged by their actions and words, not by thoughts. Maybe that was true of the committee as well. I do know these ufos aren’t stupid. So why does Wobbler manipulate them and act so short-sightedly? Doesn’t he really understand it's all plain to see? After the session, one of the ufos told me privately that I wouldn’t get away without punishment either. Years later, I heard that Wobbler had manipulated me into hubris. And into drinking that night too.

 Is there some other dimension somewhere from which they’re messing with Wobbler? Is he being led around like a puppet? Maybe Satan has taken hold of him and is using him to strike at me.

 Years later, I was again summoned before a similar committee. This time they asked me what I thought of Wobbler. I didn’t remember the previous event, nor much else. I praised Wobbler and didn’t want any punishment for him. Why do I have to be so forgetful? Life doesn’t amount to much if your memory doesn’t work.

 I’ve always been too generous anyway. I don’t hold grudges. I try somehow to get even and then forget the whole matter. It’s not a bad method, but not perfect either. As a layman in the human world, it’s certainly wise to avoid quarrels with people. Just look at Kimi Räikkönen. You got to admire that indifference to what other people say.

 Maybe around 2017, a window opened. There were Wobbler and some others. They asked me if I would leave from there, because this didn’t seem to be going in a good direction. But it was like lightning from a clear sky, and I didn’t dare seize the opportunity.

 “Now you can come out, but after this, no more,” they said.

 They knew I wasn’t ready. Why did they say there was only this one chance, and later it wouldn’t work out? They just didn’t want me to quit. Once again, a chance was given because they knew I wouldn’t take it. Ufos see the near future very clearly with their prediction devices. They could phrase things so that it sounded like a risky leap into the unknown to my ears.

 One of the ufos asked, why I wanted to be human? They laughed at humanity and said there’s really no point to it. Problems in every area, starting with health. Culture in general is a mess. Superficial stupidity the defining factor. In the human world, everything is a lie. Nothing people believe is actually true.

 A defensive stance arose in me. After all, I am a human. Humans have potential, I said. I got childish and added that humans are the best. Others are just bad. I don’t remember everything, but the point is clear.

 “Fine. Then be human,” the ufo said.

No Sex

 Is Wobbler the one who ruined my life?

 In 2018, I lived in Turku. It was really quiet with women. Then Wobbler came and asked me what I think about woman raping me? I answered, whatever. Sex is sex, after all - even if you don’t remember it later.

 That, of course, was yet another mistake. I was drained completely. Under the influence of a hypnosis trick, my sexual desire becomes very strong. But my body simply isn’t built to handle that kind of use. The result was a blur of vague memories - fucking different women. Then, in my normal state, as myself, I had no sexual desire at all. I just felt weak and apathetic.

 Was Wobbler’s idea to make it look like I have a sex life? While at the same time preventing me from experiencing intimacy as myself? Does he want my whole life to take place under hypnosis? He said sarcastically, ”Well, at least now no one thinks you’re gay.” Is he bitter that I haven’t turned out that way?

 Because my erection was weak, I tried to stimulate it on my own with different sex fantasies. A couple of years later, I was already a proper pervert. I imagined myself as some woman’s pet, being milked and dominated. Then, suddenly, I lost all interest in sex. The fantasies vanished, too. Wobbler called the whole thing off. Had he planned the entire narrative arc in advance - from woman raping to S&M to asexuality? The complete lack of sexual desire faded slowly over time. Still, under hypnosis, I remained fully functional - as far (or little) as I can remember.

 After moving from Turku to Vantaa in the fall of 2021, I lost all of my sexual potency. It happened almost immediately after I had finally come to accept myself as a freak with small testicles. Took me just some 25 years to get there. I thought that at least I have some kind of sex life. Apparently, that wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m not allowed to be content. There was also a physiological reason for my impotence: an enlarged prostate.

 In the autumn of 2023, I suddenly regained my sexual potency. I was overjoyed - on top of the world and full of energy. But the excitement lasted only a couple of weeks. I remember walking outside on a calm Sunday afternoon, completely sober. During my teenage years, I had been circumcised for medical reasons. Because of that, my glans sometimes rubs against my underwear, causing an uncomfortable erection. This time, it just wouldn’t go away. I kept stopping and sitting down to smoke a cigarette, then got up and continued walking. I felt a bit disoriented. Then suddenly, I heard a voice in my head. It was Wobbler. He kept repeating:

 ”Should it be taken off, should it be taken off?”

 (A question in passive form is difficult to translate into English.)

 In that peculiar state, I found myself replying, ”take it off.”

 After that, the impotence returned. Just like Wobbler wanted. After all, impotence induces a chronic gloom that you can’t escape. Maybe that’s better than failure in other areas of life. It also prevents sex, which many ufos view as debauchery. Wobbler certainly does. Then again, his main avatars in relation to me seem to be those Finnish pedophile-faggots who have become rich from persecuting me. They are not humans either but orcs. And what does Wobbler think of child molesting and homo sexuality? Is Wobbler gay, too?

 I've started to see Wobbler's influence behind everything the pedophile-faggots do. After all, he's the one who sets the boundaries within which they’re allowed to harass me. At the very least, he gives their actions his blessing - or blocks them.

 I've often wondered why do the problems the pedophile-faggots throw at me are often so petty and absurd. I guess it's because they originate from Wobbler. If the pedophiles could freely define the nature of their harassment, it would probably be far nastier. Wobbler is capable of anything too, but he has to operate within certain limits and find at least a superficial reason or justification for what he does. Whether those justifications hold up under scrutiny doesn’t really matter.

 If the pedophiles were given free rein, I probably wouldn't have a car. It would be destroyed or stolen. Wobbler allows me to have a car - but it has to be a jalopy. He also wants me to participate in working life. Still, I refuse to be, say, a helping hand at a building site or a cleaner. That’s why I’m allowed to do vehicle relocation work, even though the pedophiles hate it. Relocating cars creates challenges for their whore show, since I deal with new people every day and move around all over Finland.

 The Whore show was originally Wobbler's idea. In this plan pedophile-faggots serve as middlemen. Whores tell people nasty lies about me but in the same time they also advertise me and indirectly my website, which is a source of awkward nuisance for the pedophile-faggots. It completely invalidates their argument that I am under their control. I wonder what Wobbler thinks of it?

England – Theme

 From recent years, I bring up the England theme. Pedophile-faggots sic brits on me. And thus my website is advertised in Britain. Does it really make any sense for them? Especially since there are some writings in English, i.e. this one. Or maybe that is the secret ufo-reason behind it. 

 When people are thrown at me, I have to mention the website. It's comes as a surprise for them. Among the Britons, there is always one or two whores, hired by the pedophile-faggots. But no one mentioned the website to them either. Many freelancer based hostel whore has left the place immediately after looking into the website.

 The homo theme is also very important for pedophile-faggots. Whores are looking for homos who are then sicced on me. They are shown the senegalese nigger-faggots' rape video, and I'm sure there are lots of other videos, too. 

 The homo theme can be combined with the England theme. Every orc is more or less gay. And there are lot of homos in England, since most of the people there are taken by orcs. For this reason Britain has imported half a million Polaks into their country. The amount of orcs is rising in Britain and not everyone wants to be an African or Arab.

Wobbler's Defence

 In many writings I have discussed the different ways pedophile-faggots are tormenting me through their whores. It has, however, remained unclear which of the various themes are specifically from Wobbler's toolbox?. His presence seems to loom in everything unpleasant. His dark shadow trembles even above the moments of happiness, always alert, seeking reasons to destroy anything pleasurable. The ingratiating smile locked onto his hideous face makes one wonder: what exactly is so funny about all this?"

 I don't know how powerful Wobbler is in the end? I guess among the ufos influencing Earth he is one of the strongest. He is not god-like, that is for sure. If he is satanic, he must be a crypto. Perhaps all ufos are crypto-satanists.

 Wobbler himself said that I shouldn't blame him so much as those friends of mine who don't help me, or take me away from here. In other words, he considers it his right to torment me as much as possible. Is it the case that Wobbler would do me much more harm if someone weren't holding him back? And is someone having to clean up after him?

 Logically speaking, Wobbler maximizes the torment in order to extract maximum benefit from me. Therefore, since my life is relatively tolerable, someone must be holding him back from behind the scenes. However, as a mere resource, it is impossible for me to carry out anything on my own. The torment also prevents any kind of personal growth. Even if I were suddenly made a savant, I would still remain lacking in actual skills. Am I supposed to start learning languages, writing, and computer science at the age of 65? And everything else ”the chosen one” is supposedly expected to know?

 I don’t think Wobbler likes my website. It clearly limits his ability to operate through me. It renders many of his plans void - assuming he has thought of me as anything more than just an energy asset. Does he intend to execute that fantastic world saver -project after I’m out of the picture, using my body as an avatar? Could it be that the real intention is to smoke me out, to drive me away?

 And how long can I continue to serve as an energy resource? Am I an bottomless well? I’ve heard that at least in the human world the satanic benefits gained through me are becoming increasingly hard to obtain. It would make sense if Wobbler prioritized his own projects over human ones. Or perhaps he simply skims the cream off the top of what human satanists manage to do.

 It’s clear that to Wobbler, his own projects are so important that my desires don't matter. And he doesn't want me to live my own life, anyway. Someone else would live it better. I would be allowed to leave the stage, but only once I’m already old. After that, Wobbler would carry out the things I was originally meant to accomplish in my life. In any case, I hope that my death as a human will finally put an end to my status as an energy resource. Or is Wobbler imagining that even if I commit suicide, I’ll still end up in some kind of cosmic cell, reduced to nothing more than a milk cow? Does he think that as long as the cow milks there is no need for a butcher.

 As I understand it, Wobbler exists above good and evil. Karma has no effect on him. However, I don't rule out the possibility that some extremely powerful entity has taken control of him. I won’t speculate any further, but - as the saying goes - as below, so above. In other words, life is just as messy and chaotic at every level of existence. There is always someone stronger, someone unseen. There cannot be anything strongest without something stronger beyond it. At the very least, the entities that interact with humans cannot be the most powerful beings in the universe. Humans are such simple creatures that a mega-being wouldn’t even find them interesting. Just like a human isn’t exactly intrigued by the inner world of seaweed.

The Whore Show

 The satanists who lead my persecution in Finland hire people to do the dirty work. Some of these people work full-time; others are part-timers or freelancers. I call these people whores, since they'll do anything for money. The whore phenomenon as a whole is an old custom. The satanic club needs henchmen and all kinds of people to deal with lays and unwilling satanists. Especially the poisoning, stalking and torturing of lays requires manpower.

 In my case, the whore show has gone through the roof. They follow me everywhere. Wherever I go, there are a few whores trailing behind and ahead of me. The whore show could be seen as a security measure, but in practice, it’s just constant harassment aimed at me. It doesn't really make any sense, which is not a big surprise, since the whole thing is Wobbler’s idea. What else could it be but his way of messing with me?

 In 2010, I got into the club for a short period of time, just a week or two. That was enough for me to gain knowledge no layman should ever know. The satanists did erase my memory thoroughly, but it kept coming back. The original idea was to keep an eye on me, and block all unwanted influence from me. But after a while, it became a bit of a spectacle. People I interact with through my work for less than a minute, have to listen a half-hour lecture on what can and can't be said to me. And that is just the tip of this shiteberg.

 When the whore show went bigtime, Wobbler asked, if it bothered me?

 “Does it bother you to be followed all the time?”
 “It doesn’t bother me,” I said. I don’t know why.
 “It will bother you,” he said, smirking spitefully.
 And right he was.

 Maybe the whore show is revenge for not worshiping Satan. Maybe Wobbler wants me to worship Satan, because otherwise I can't really get anything done here. But I can’t worship Satan, because then I would have to stay here for many lifetimes. It’s better to be here for just this one life. On the other hand, I wouldn't know if I have already been here many times before. I don’t believe in that, but it is possible.

 The way whores see it, they “keep an eye on me” or ”see to it that everything goes properly”. At least that is what they say. I don't know what they think. Anyway, they are on my tail wherever I go. The chief whore commands from a control center and orders how the whores should stand, where to walk, what to say, and so on. Quite often, the whore “marks” me by walking back and forth in front of me or just stands there. Maybe whores are more entertain than my own actions. Maybe the show makes Wobbler and his associates happy.

 Through whores, Wobbler can operate in the human world in a more concrete way. If he only controlled the pedophile-faggots, he wouldn’t have access to the field. By the whore show, my life is under the widest possible control. It can be ruined in countless ways, while at the same time offering apparent protection and important isolation. No one is allowed to advise or help me so that my current ignorant state remains.

 I’m not allowed to be killed either: I must not die. If I were to die, ufos could rewind the tape, but the whore show is a more earthly way to influence things. Through the whores, protection can be implemented so that I’m a helpless bystander, as it should be. One of the most defining aspects of my life is that I’m not allowed to live it myself, but others do everything. I just walk through my life, or rather crawl. If I were to reach my goal, a state where I can’t be hypnotized, the whore show would have to end. No one would want to be a whore if the job were as much about running away as it is about following me.

 Whores make good money at my expense, and it pisses me off. A whore earns much more in one minute than I do a whole day. The operation costs millions a year. Ville is expected to be financially realistic, while the whores get rich effortlessly.

 I’m not supposed to have any chance against the whores. They have all technical aids at their disposal. Even those not yet officially invented. I’m like John Spartan from the movie Demolition Man. He knows how to knit. I can make a sandwich. Whores have top-class computer experts, satanic mind tricks, a million-dollar budget, and an unparalleled surveillance system.

 Fighting whores is impossible. Conflicts are not wanted because they could trigger unwanted changes. Aggression is cut away from me and the whore, so if I take a photo of a whore, it’s hard for him to stop it. I, in turn, don’t dare get too close to a whore. There’s also a risk of hypnosis for me there. The main thing is to keep the current fearful apathy intact. Ville is pissed off, but no one gets hurt or killed. The whores’ anger means nothing to Wobbler and the pedophile-faggots. They don’t genuinely care about their employees.

Sick Entertainment

 The whore show is depressing for me. It resets me no matter where I go. I’m just a helpless idiot whom the whores film and immobilize. They control the people around me. It’s not far-fetched to say that this is exactly what’s intended. To humiliate me. To make me an impotent eunuch. An ignorant fool whose insignificance must be emphasized. And it’s becoming clear to people that nothing about me really depends on myself. Everything is given or taken away from above.

 Maybe the whore show represents the idea that first there is oppression, and then suddenly the tables turn. Like in the Rocky movies, where the opponent beats Rocky to a pulp at the start, and then Rocky wins at the end. Or doesn't win… 

 The longer I’m oppressed, the sweeter the moment when I rise above. On the other hand, it’s hard to believe in that, because even if the turnaround would be interesting, it doesn’t erase decades of frustration. Long-term anger doesn’t channel into rational action. Bitterness isn’t noble, nor does it lead to good things.

 And in the end, I’m not even allowed to do anything to anyone. And if I could mess with whores and pedophile-faggots, then what? Who would really care to watch if I command a whore perform somersaults in public or something like that? That wouldn’t look good either, and it goes against my own idea of justice. My idea is that if someone can’t adapt and repeatedly does wrong, they should simply be eliminated - put to an end. That’s simple justice, and benefits also the wrongdoer. He can then be reborn as a dandelion or something similar. It’s a waste of energy to humiliate and punish people over and over. Few learn anything from it.

 On the other hand, the way ufos treat people is well illustrated by how people are set against each other and then punished for it. Creating a show that appeals to people’s basest desires. To people’s tendency to earn easy money at the expense of the weaker. Exploiting people’s weaknesses. That’s definitely what ufos want. If people were told what's best for them, there would be no show at all. And yet, on this planet, almost everything is based on acting and on people believing they are the “lords of creation.” Ufos direct the show from above.

 Who does the whore show serve? It makes no sense that satanists hire people to follow me around and advertise me to the people I meet. Who benefits from turning my life into such a grotesque play without rhyme or reason? Where I am an incapable idiot and my enemies are the worst satanists in the world who can ruin my sex life but can’t remove my homepage from the Internet. Who can rape me but cannot hit me.

 I don’t want to be a shining star in the ufo entertainment heaven. I don’t want to be a reality TV performer watched by millions, whose pitiful antics are dissected week after week in homes and workplace coffee rooms. Especially when I'm not getting paid.

 This is snuff porn. Torture porn. A raw, violent, and perverse spectacle. Exactly the kind of low trash entertainment that a civilized ufo shouldn’t watch, but maybe craves precisely for that reason. Week after week, ufos gather in droves around their receivers to watch dirty, crude brainless entertainment. Apparently even ufos have reptilian brains. After all, they are at least as malicious and gleeful in others’ misfortune as humans or reptilians. Ufos wantviolent reality TV, juicy gossip, and maybe pornography too.

 What’s the purpose of a show like this, and who enjoys it? Is the ultimate goal just to mock humanity? Does this show even truly exist or is it just a simulation? A computer-generated program that starts when someone presses a button and ends when that same button is pressed again.

 Maybe none of this matters at all. We humans are just entertainers. The purpose of this play is to entertain. But does it? Does ufo feel entertained by this program? Is this a binge-worthy prestige show?

Elimination

 You have to make up your mind. You can’t hold two opposing views at the same time. Personally, I believe that pedophile-faggots are not the main ones responsible for my distress but ufos. Pedophiles are merely tools for them. I haven’t yet been able to forgive pedophiles or whores, though. But I’m working on it. I don’t blame myself for anything either. I don’t take much responsibility for my life, because I’m not even allowed to live it. Someone else is living it for me. 

 Responsibility belongs to the one who holds the power - in this case, ufos. A small poke at an anthill or tweaking one thing doesn’t necessarily make ufos responsible. But when you interfere with things on a daily level and keep almost all the strings in your hands - that does. The impact of all this isn’t just the direct effect; the side effects and ripple effects are indirect consequences, and therefore the ufos who carry these out are responsible for what happens in my life. This is their life.

 As for whores, I still believe that one should be killed every hour until the show ends. The killing should start from the top - that is, with those who’ve been whoring the longest. I’m not saying it would necessarily be right, but it would be an effective remedy and would bring the whoring to a halt within a few hours. And if the thinning out began from the upper branches of the organization, those killed would almost certainly have earned their fate. Who would miss them anyway? Is whoring their own choice? Yes, it is. Why do I also blame ufos? I blame both - but in this case, the point is to put an end to the whoring. That’s what matters to me.

 Would this bring me bad karma? Maybe. But I don’t agree with the idea of constantly trying to avoid bad karma. If it’s going to come, it will. I don’t mind doing good things to earn positive karma or some benefit, but avoiding bad karma at all costs feels dishonest. Sometimes you just have to do what needs to be done if you want to achieve good results. If everyone only thought about their own karma all the time, nothing would ever move forward.

 Still, I don’t agree with any plan where I’m tormented for 60 years, only to get my turn to torment those who tormented me. To me, the whole thing is just about making everyone suffer. Setting different parties against each other. I don’t want to take part in that.

 Scapegoat

 There is a certain balance of terror when it comes to the satanic torment. If it goes too far, I become self-destructive. My death would end the benefit I provide to my tormentors. So the pressure is tightened subtly, pushing my life in a worse direction. Or they curse me with some affliction, which is later swapped for another, slightly different one.

 Sometimes it goes overboard, and some mega-ufo blows the whistle to stop the game. Then I get some concession, like a tape recorder or the job I wanted, which the ufos also tried to ruin. Wobbler wants me to be a cleaner or a warehouse worker - something I dislike. He thinks I should walk around in rags and be ugly. Meanwhile, he dresses in shiny armor of gold and silver. But for me, everything should be shabby.

 And maybe it’s true that Wobbler has made me a whipping boy for some other lays, or for some who have a task to fulfill. Thus, it’s desirable that I remain a zero, because that way I serve the purpose best. Or perhaps out of carelessness, I handed over all rights to my life before coming here, and now, under this contract, ufos restrict my life. It’s very important to them that I have no money. It can't be given to me, nor can I really earn it myself.

 Wobbler said that if I were given money, I would immediately move away from Finland. He believes I must stay here. That this is my place. Here are my worst enemies, whom I can then torment as an old man. But first, I must become bitterly revengeful. In Thomas Harris’s Hannibal novel, Mason Verger trained and starved wild boars to set them on Hannibal Lecter. My case is similar, although more complex in nuance.

 Maybe Wobbler’s plans for me would be possible if only I changed into the kind of person he wants. That is, to have all good qualities but none of the bad. To be ambitious and determined, but also have high morals. To be optimistic and positive. Also selfless and constructive. And of course endlessly hardworking. No drinking, no smoking. No pornography or even thinking about sex. No animal products or junk food. No fancy cars or designer clothes. No wallowing in self-pity. Just patient suffering and sacrifice for others, and behaving with noble consideration.

 Once some older female ufo told me, “We will finish this thing together in the end.” She didn't mean that I would be included in this ”we”. From this, one can conclude that this project must succeed. Whatever that project is. I don’t even know, but I can guess. For example, it would be great if orcs could be seen by everyone through special sunglasses.

 Prophecies have ruined my life. Because of them, satanists follow and persecute me. And because I will eventually do something great, it will happen no matter what. This project cannot fail. It must succeed. That’s why I’m a poor, miserable idiot. What does it matter, when the project succeeds anyway? And for this reason, one can think that everything that happens to me is right, because it is part of the prophecy. But on the other hand, I should become the opposite of myself, because such a great story cannot be too easy. So in the end, the whole thing is just a show. Why otherwise make the project harder to carry out if it’s so important? Is it about energies? That they have to flow naturally or something like that.

 Despite the prophecies, Wobbler and his associates don’t like that I speculate about my future in a harshly realistic way - digging into root causes and putting myself down. I suspect they think the human world can’t handle the truth. But seeking truth is important to me. If the world can’t handle truth, it must change and get used to handling it.

 Why is truth bad? Is it a spoiler? Maybe human life is an unrealistic simulation. It can't be put under scrutiny. Everything here is fake. Ufos love lies. Who knows, maybe they are living one themselves.

Asceticism

 An ambitious and determined person is most often selfish and ruthless. If not, then he is nearly perfect. Maybe such a perfect person exists somewhere, but I have not been able to become one. Nor have I really tried. I don’t even know why I should? For I don’t know what Wobbler’s plan is about. What I do know is that it’s not my plan. But if I’m just a laborer, then I should at least get paid. If they say the pay comes only after the work is done, they could tell me what I’m supposed to do.

 In principle, one might think that ufos want people to live steady lives. No drinking, no sex, no partying. No salt, sugar, alcohol, or coffee. Not even tea. Just honest work during the day, and reading philosophical texts and meditating in the evenings. But then some of them don’t want this. Some ufos believe that human life includes all kinds of things. Many of them have at some point been human themselves, and they understand human life better than those who have never been a human.

 I myself am not capable of asceticism, even if there were a concrete reason for it - such as cleansing the body of toxins. It just doesn’t work. The voices turn on. I hear various theories from the voices, but they change every day. I don’t like the voices anyway, and especially don’t trust them. Still, I have to admit that abstaining from pleasures would be possible for me. I could refrain from drinking alcohol and coffee. Not smoke cigarettes. Eat nothing but raw vegetables. So far, I haven’t been able to do it. I have tried a few times, but anxiety rises quickly. Meditation would have to accompany it, but that’s another problem. When I first tried to learn meditation, I almost went blind. I couldn’t meditate without involving my eyes. They just got involved, I don’t know why. Maybe that too has to be made as difficult as possible. In order to get a third eye, I would lose the other two. 

 Then, after about half a year, when my eyes healed, I tried again. I thought I’d do it my own way. I didn’t think about breathing at all. If I think about breathing, it becomes compulsive. In fact, it disturbs my meditation. That’s why I focus only on spinning a “reel” in my brain. I draw various round patterns and a back-and-forth sawing motion in my mind. It’s a bit like masturbating. I don’t believe it’s real meditation, but when I succeed, it feels good. My fingers and toes tingle. When I walk, I feel like I’m floating. But it doesn’t always work. And I don’t believe that when it works, my “meditation” depends solely on me.

 The way out of hearing voices would surely be true meditation, but on the other hand, because of the voices, that’s impossible. So even meditation, if successful, would just be an illusion created by ufos. I would have to pretend I'm meditating. Everything is based on pretending, and of course on the fact that misery must always be present.